Thursday, 31 December 2009

Returning the screw.

I had work again today but unfortunately there were no fun people, just a couple of rude ones. I won't leave you disappointed though. Or maybe I will. Here is a brief account of all the times I have been genuinely afraid.

1. When I worked in the shop in Cardiff, I worked with an adorable little lady who was quite short and on the whole the type you'd like to put in your bag, or your mouth, or whatever. A very rude man once fully threatened to put her through the window.

2. In Cardiff a man came in and he was very clearly on some form of exotic drug, I suspected heroin. He took a bite out of one of the bath ballistics (which taste disgusting and aren't worth breaking your teeth over) and then said he wanted to buy his mum a little gift. We had to con him into paying for the ballistic he had eaten but thankfully he was too out of it to notice. Drugs are bad.

3. Last christmas, or maybe the one before that, I had nipped in to work on my way home from college (so what if that's my social life, fuck you) and I had noticed some freaky looking people. By freaky I mean suspicious, not horrendously ugly or anything. I followed them out of the shop and the little blighters had tried to nick about £100's worth of stuff! I had a blazing argument in the street and I'm telling you now, they were the type that would've stabbed you and pissed in the wound. Scallywags. My manager followed me out eventually and we ended up getting everything back. It's a shame, they looked like they needed a wash.

4. That same christmas, the rudest woman in the whole world came in and I had to do a gift wrap for her. She kept tutting and fiddling with it, often taking it off me entirely to do it herself. Then she complained about me to my manager. I wasn't scared but I was genuinely terrified for her safety.

5. When I used to work in Vans a man was a complete asshole to me. I was 16 at the time and he was 40something and 6ft. He threatened to beat me up. What a loser.

That's all! I don't get that scared. I'm a tough old bird, me. I'll write something when I'm not feeling so dumb.

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